All Will Be One

If you’re here from my Hipsters article talking about Phyrexia: All Will Be One – here are the rest of the cards that I didn’t cover in that article.

If you’re here from elsewhere… I’m not sure how you got here.  But welcome!

As usual, I’ve sorted the cards by approximate interest, but it isn’t a definitive ranking.

Jump to Blue
Jump to Black
Jump to Red
Jump to Green
Jump to Others

WHITE

The Eternal Wanderer – This Wanderer reminds me of Elspeth, Sun’s Champion, by being hard to kill and being able to do board control via the minus, and creating tokens.  The Eternal Wanderer’s worst ability is her plus, since it’s reliant on other things being in play, but it’s *very* nice to have when you’re able to blink something.  I also like how The Eternal Wanderer is extremely hard to kill in combat, and while the 2/2 double striking Samurai isn’t great vs Titans, etc, it still generally at least trades in combat with whatever would be the sole attacker into her. I’m not sure how many cubes are in the market for another white 6-drop, but this is a nice one to act as board control as well as a slight Blink payoff.

Annex Sentry is one of the weirder Banisher Priest riffs – like with Skyclave Apparation, being able to hit non-creatures with matchup spread, as this can Stone Rain an opponent who’s playing Signets and mana rocks.  Toxic is gravy, like with all of the cards with Toxic. 

Glimmer Lens has pretty bad stats but it’s mostly for decks that can reliably spit out a 1-drop to make this reliably draw cards, although this plan can be broken up via interaction on either creature.   Its equip cost is also low for the base effect, even if it gives no combat stats.  This is more of a enchantment-on-legs than an Ophidian, but it’s not bad as a middling method of getting card advantage.

Bladed Ambassador is another in the lines of 3/1s for 2 which protect themselves, but this requires mana which is usually the death knell for these kinds of creatures, since you can’t hold up protection while curving out, so the ability is mostly for the later stages of the game.  Because of that, I think the existing Blade of the Sixth Prides with upside that protect themselves (Seasoned Hallowblade, Adanto Vanguard, Fleeting Spirit) more than this.

Phyrexian Vindicator – “mono white” tends to be often used as a shorthand for white aggro decks (even if they’re not mono-color, go figure) but I’m really hesitant to be on board with one that dies to non-damage spot removal and has no immediate effect.  It also seems to have pretty polarizing gameplay ala Phyrexian Obliterator, where it either dies to removal or completely dominates board states where damage/board states grow, so I’m not sure if that’s something that cubes want as another big body, in a color glutted with good 4-mana options.  

White Sun’s Twilight – it’s been a while since I’ve cubed Martial Coup, and this trades the ability of the creatures to block with gaining life.  I like how this can end the game in a few attacks if you’re able to have X >= 5, which helps to make up for the tokens being unable to block, since you can just chump attack into a few attackers if you’re able to get to 6+ mite tokens, and the lifegain isn’t flavor text either.  Still, I’ve not been as big a fan of 6+ mana wraths as I had been in years past, and even with the upsides on this one, I’m still wary.

Skrelv’s Hive – As pointed out on the Limited Level Ups podcast, Mites act similar to Decay creatures by not being able to block.  But, like decay creatures, they do act like ticking time bombs threatening to end the game if the opponent doesn’t hold enough defense back in racing scenarios, which can make combat weird.

One of the best aspects of Bitterblossom-style effects is creating a steady stream of blockers, letting it act as a virtual Forcefield as a tradeoff for the life loss making it so that attacks by the opponent can be mitigated, encouraging overextending into a wrath in order to be able to deal more damage and to be able to turn defensive resources into offensive ones when you need to turn the corner.  Tl;dr – while this might look like a Bitterblossom, it’s *fundamentally different*.  

Corrupted can help with gaining lost life back, but this is still mostly an offense-related card and pretty slow at that.  I’m not a fan.

Infested Fleshcutter – you’d think I’d be on board with an equipment that makes other creatures, but this is not great even when compared to things like Captain’s Claws. The equip cost is also quite high for the effect, and although it’s a self-sustaining package of creature generation + equipment, it’s just too much mana to be worth it.

Mondrak, Glory Dominus – a token payoff for going deep on tokens, especially with white’s planeswalkers that create tokens, since it can overwhelm a board quickly. But, it’s a bit weak on its own, for being a 4/4 for 4 with no immediate impact.  It is nice that its sacrifice ability works well with tokens, but since white 4s are quite strong as is, your cube may want to skip out on this unless you’re really looking for another token payoff – although it’s more all-in than Staff of the Storyteller.

Norn’s Wellspring – this requires way too much work for a middling payoff, and even its cheap initial investment can’t be offset by the fact that it does nothing.  

Kemba, Kha Enduring – without a lot of equipment to take advantage of the free equipping + equipped creature buff, this mostly just takes too much mana to be useful in a lot of decks. 

BLUE

Blade of Shared Souls – an odd clone effect by having a floor of a 2/2 is pretty bad, it’ll happen more often since it only clones your creatures, but it’s at least dirt cheap to equip (at least compared to other Living Weapons and For Mirrodin!s.)  It be pretty good in blue decks utilizing a lot of creatures, since being able to upgrade a 2/2 dork into an actual threat is a very good deal for 2 mana, and would likely see more cube play if it was in a color in white.  I may have convinced myself that it’s better than I thought. 

Unctus, Grand Metatect – Grand Architect somewhat coincided with the “blue tempo” thing that was gaining some traction in cubes at the time, since it pumped blue creatures and had synergies with equipment.  I’m honestly unsure if this is more a sidegrade than an upgrade, since this works well with artifact token generation and usually, more aggressive-leaning artifacty blue decks tend to employ a lot of robots to beat down, rather than blue creatures – but this is a pretty small intersection of the Venn Diagram. 

Serum Snare, Reject Imperfection – while I like the Anticipate + Proliferate card, since Anticipate is pretty close to being in the mix in a lot of cubes, whereas Disperse and Cancel aren’t.  It’s true that sometimes all you need is something to be done at a base rate that is fine for a cube deck (Firebolt is a classic example) where the upsides are nice to have – these two are wholly reliant on using Proliferate to be worthwhile.  I just don’t think these get there. 

Mindsplice Apparatus – I’ve heard some comparisons to this and Wilderness Reclamation and Fires of Invention, but it does take a while to get there – and only works with a few card types.  Flash helps this a lot, since you aren’t just tapping out for a do-nothing play, and it can snowball quickly if your cube supports decks that have cards like Sphinx’s Revelation hanging out.  Still, this seems pretty low-impact compared to other 4s in cube.  The same applies to Tekuthal, Inquiry Dominus.

Blue Sun’s Twilight – I’m somewhat surprised that paying X >= 5 doesn’t just ignore the MV rider, but the Entrancing Melody baserate’s playability is mostly reliant on the metagame of your cube and how much blue needs help against low MV decks.  More a sideboard card than anything, even with the copy kicker. 

BLACK

Vraan, Executioner Thane – Once a turn and only limited to your creatures, but the bigger drain is nice.  Body isn’t the worst, but it’s better than Blood Artist; when including Blood Artist in a deck, I usually consider it more as a direct damage source that I expect to deal 3+ damage over the course of the game.  Vraan generally has an easier time doing this against one-for-one trades, but loses the effect of being potentially 5+ damage if you/the opponent has a wide board, in case an opponent is packing a wrath.  Overall, pretty decent in black aggressive decks.

Geth, Thane of Contracts – reminiscent of Coffin Queen by recurring beefers, trading a fragile body for a bigger one that nerfs all of your other creatures.  Generally, the play is to play this in a deck that has a lot of value creatures that can be recurred – since a 1/1 Mulldrifter isn’t significantly worse than a 2/2 one – or one that plays it as a plan B to get things out of the grave.  Unfortunately, a nombo with things like Putrid Imp, putting it more at home in decks with a “fair” midrange plan, and being a fine-onrate beater helps.  Just, for the love of Bontu, don’t play this in your black aggro cube decks.

Vraska, Betrayal’s Sting – with the original Phyrexian mana cards in New Phyrexia, many were fine on retail rate, and pushed for their Phyrexian mana cost, and for the most part, the planeswalkers that I’ll discuss in this supplemental post are fine for their Phyrexian mana cost.

I get why – previously Phyrexian mana cards generally batted above their weight class due to being able to cheat mana cost, and while it’s not like Pith Driller was making the top8s of Pro Tours, cards like Porcelain Legionnaire have been in cubes since being printed and cards like Gitaxian Probe, Dismember and others have made their respective marks. For the most part, Phyrexian mana costs were dialed back, understandably so, in this set, for the Compleated walkers covered in this post (the ones in the main article like Jace and Nissa are generally good.)

Vraska is a good example of this, where her 5-mana mode is cut from the Ob Nixilis, Reignited cloth of getting card advantage on + (her 0 to proliferate pretty much does that), a minus to protect herself and an ultimate that does something. The thing is, she’s not even that pushed, from a cube perspective for 5 mana, she’s just ok – and while you generally don’t care about paying the 2 life to play her for 5, it is still is paying a cost for something that’s analogous to other effects for 5 mana and arguably isn’t even better, since her ultimate doesn’t really do much unless you have another way to proliferate or give an opponent a poison counter.

Drivnod, Dominus of the Massacre – the best part about this is that in decks that have a lot of grave fodder, it’s not hard to get this to be indestructible for free via Phyrexian mana to act like a big Abyss for 5 mana.  Death trigger doubling is mostly gravy and won’t happen too often, though.  

Vat Emergence – mostly for cubes that need yet another reanimate effect and/or a “fairly” costed one, since there are just so many printed for 3 or less mana that most cubes don’t really need this, even with the upside of proliferate.

RED

Furnace Punisher – a fine on-rate non-basic hate card, which somewhat reminds me of Rampaging Ferocidon, at least on the part of it being a 3/3 menace beater for 3, so that its impact is still felt even if it isn’t hosing a strategy.  I generally find that if a cube specifically needs hosers for “non-basic land decks” (usually greedpiles) that it’s more of a cube metagame problem than something that needs to be addressed with cards like this.  Still, I wouldn’t mind taking this in red aggro decks, even if it may end up in the side.

Roar of Resistance – With anthem-style pump effects, the main consideration for inclusion in a deck is –  how much resources you need to have on board for them to be worthwhile for them to be worth playing?  Giving global haste helps with the initial investment, since, if it gives a 3-mana creature haste, it’s almost paid for its investment up front, and this is one of the cheaper global haste pumpers.  

My gut says that you need at least 2 things to pump to be worthwhile to feel like you’re ahead on the 1R cost to use it.  Of course, this works incredibly well with token generators, and being able to give global pump helps make creatures like these better topdecks.  Still, as I’ll discuss later, my base parameter for these kinds of non-creature, non-damage cards is whether they’re worth more damage than a Lightning Strike, on average.  With cards like Embercleave, it’s a pretty obvious yes, but here, I’m not so sure.  I’m probably letting my love of wonky pump effects like this more than I should.

Vindictive Flamestoker – I’m cautiously optimistic on this since it requires casting several non-creatures to make this worth using, making this a very clunky version of Bomat Courier.  Drawing 4 may be what sets it over other similar cards, but I have doubts.

Cacophony Scamp – not bad as yet another filler 1-drop, that works well with planeswalkers and ways to buff its power.  It has the Fireblade Charger “if this dies, throw its power at something” text to help facilitate trades and chip damage, and being able to threaten proliferate via an attack can help make combat weird if there’s a walker threatening ultimate via Proliferate.  Still, it doesn’t represent a ton of damage on its face, like Fireblade Charger, so it’s mostly just fine.

Hexplate Wallbreaker – usually, these “2nd attack phase” cards don’t tend to work out in cube, with Combat Celebrant combos being the most common execution of it.  I’d like this more if it had an immediate impact, but it at least has a relatively cheap equip cost to effect, comparatively speaking.  Still, in most decks, I’d rather just have a dragon – even a virtual dragon like Dragonwing Glider, which is somewhere in the middle between Goldspan Dragon at the top, and others like Stormbreath at the bottom.

Barbed Batterfist, Hexgold Halberd – both are filler, but I do like how the Gauntlet is a 3/1 on the front side, that can crash in early and then have a lasting impact later on by buffing other creatures cheaply.  That said, both are a bit low-impact on the front end especially Hexplate (which can be hard to block early on, but that diminishes quickly over the game) and Hexplate ain’t cheap to equip onto others as well.

Blazing Crescendo – The question I always ask myself with non-creature spells for aggro is whether it’s better on-rate than something like a Lightning Strike.  In theory, it’s a Lightning Strike… ish, which draws a card, even if it’s a “yolo draw” style, and lasting until the end of next turn is nice.

Still, I don’t think the average red aggro deck would want this over a lightning strike… and non aggro certainly doesn’t want this at all.

Something to keep in mind, but likely won’t make it.  

Slobad, Iron Goblin – you don’t tend to see a lot of cards like Soldevi Adnate in cubes these days, but cards like that and this Slobad represent a lot of burst mana by being able to take advantage of Mulldrifty-type permanents that don’t care that much about being sacrificed, since most of their value isn’t tied to the body of the permanent itself.  Slobad makes it harder to do so, since it can only sacrifice artifacts, but it’s not a bad payoff if your cube encourages decks that jump the mana curve with Slobad powering out big artifacts.

Gleeful Demolition – I don’t know how many cubes these days are looking for solely a shatter, but this is one of the better ones since it’s dirt cheap and works well with expendable artifacts.  But I think a card like Smash to Smithereens is just a better “proactive” shatter.  

Urabrask’s Forge – best in decks with ways to utilize tokens (sacrifice, triggers upon entering the battlefield) and mediocre elsewhere since it takes several turns to make good on your initial investment.  4 is where it arguably gets “good” for the 2R investment but that’s a lot of turns.

Solphim, Dominus of Mayhem gives me some real “Torbran at Home” vibes, vibes by acting as a damage increaser, but is limited to non-combat damage, which helps – to an extent – but various bad Chandras have done this and the effect always disappoints.

Costing a real mana is annoying for indestructible, but it’s not too difficult to hit in red aggro decks.  Still, we can do better.

Red Sun’s Twilight – If you REALLY need another Shatterstorm.  I don’t think you do, though.

GREEN

Evolving Adaptive – in cubes that are looking for another Experiment One or Pelt Collector, this is a slightly worse one, since it doesn’t have the marginal upsides on the former pair.  Still, if you’re playing one Experiment, you’re likely playing all of them. Enjoy!

Armored Scrapgorger – Reminiscent of Channeler Initiate by being a rainbow mana elf for 2 and one that grows in the later stages of the game.  This can’t throw another creature under the bus to make itself a mid-size creature, and requires fuel to get oil, but this is a fine filler mana elf as a Scavenging Ooze at home type of card. 

Green Sun’s Twilight – we’re not cubing Gift of the Gargantuan, but I’m cautiously optimistic for how well this scales up in the later stages of the game as a way to dig for business and get a land for free.  It’s not very mana efficient and only cheats mana if X >= 5, but this has some potential as a way to grind card advantage.

Tyrranax Rex – In the main article on Hipsters, I noted that, for the most part, Toxic wasn’t going to amount to much, but I think this is one of the exceptions.  As @Sandwurmfood pointed out on Twitter, having trample helps this reliably kill in 3 turns, even if the blocker soaks up most of the damage.  Haste and a decent Ward value also help to put a clock on the opponent.

Zopandrel, Dominus of Hunger – A big creature that makes other big creatures bigger, and also has reach because, why not.  Sacking 2 creatures is a real cost to give indestructability, but it’s at least free on mana which is nice against spot removal, although the opponent can respond with instant speed removal to blow you out.  But, if you’re getting wrathed, being able to do it for free is nice when you’re curving out. Still, 7 mana for a stat monster is a rough sell.

Bloated Contaminator – one of the better “raw stats monsters” as a 4-power trampler for 3 that proliferates on combat.  Having 4 power helps its damage trigger occur more often and can very occasionally help the stars align for a poison kill, but generally saboteurs are worse than they look when they lack evasion – and although trample helps to evade smaller blockers, it’s generally limited to evading only in states with small creatures. 

Evolved Spineoderm – this at least starts with hexproof so it doesn’t eat a plow, ala the original Blastoderm’s shroud.  It does suffer from some similar drawbacks to Blastoderm – limited shelf life and no evasion until it gets low on oil.  Like the Contaminator, having trample helps it connect once it gets low on oil, but I think we can still do better.

Tyvar’s Stand – These kinds of creature protection effects generally don’t work out in cube because of the powerful spot and mass removal options out there, although this does at least act as a creature pump effect.  Still, it suffers by being a fundamentally reactive card in a color that wins by being proactive – and while the pump helps, it’s more secondary in function to its cheap protection primary.

Thirsting Roots – worse than Bushwhack since, while Proliferate is a nice upside to have, it’s worse than Fight since it comes up less often.  I don’t know if cubes need another.  Similarly with Unnatural Restoration, for whether cubes need yet another Nature’s Spiral effect.

OTHER

The Mycosynth Gardens – pretty good land that isn’t just limited to artifact-heavy decks, being an untapped land helps as does being able copy artifacts at instant speed, even though it’s limited to ones that you control.  It lets you turn it into an equipment or creature at instant speed and can mana fix, although the rate is atrocious – and note that once you copy something, you can’t copy something else after.  Still, better than it looks.

Kaya, Intangible Slayer – She’s a 7 mana sorcery-speed play, which is a rough sell these days, but she can at least protect herself via hexproof and a boatload of loyalty, which helps her not just die to an O-Ring. She can solo a game via draining (ala Sorin Markov, for those who remember playing with that) or killing whatever could threaten to kill her. The card draw is probably the worst mode by virtue of letting the opponent scry, but it’s probably not too awful. If your cube can support casting this reliably, this is not bad for Orzhov sections to support control and big mana/cheat (to an extent) strategies.  

Malcator, Purity Overseer – I like that this splicer’s token helps with hitting 3 artifacts entering the battlefield, which helps consistency of getting another golem – when this happens, you’ve definitely gotten your mana’s worth.  Getting the 2nd golem can require sandbagging artifacts in hand, but the payoff might be worth it, and cubes with blink strategies can have the 2nd golem happen more often as well.  Cautiously optimistic.

Glissa, Sunslayer – retains the first strike + deathtouch thing that the original GB Glissa had, making her nearly impossible to kill in combat.  Doing something when she connects helps making the whole “no blocks” a worse proposition, making it a form of evasion, but one that the opp can deal with, limited by the opponent’s creature count.  I like the myriad GB removal more than this, but if you think those are boring, there’s this. 

Mirrex  – Similar points with Sklrev’s Hive, but this at least doesn’t require a spell slot.  Not being able to block makes this fundamentally a very different effect than Castle Ardenvale.  It’s also a land that comes into play untapped and does – at least for a turn – make colored mana, which helps.

Zenith Chronicler – a 3/1 for 2, which is a harder sell when cubes were desiring more 2-drop beaters.  The multicolor hosing is mostly flavor text too, and it’s so weird that it’s symmetrical.  I don’t get it.

The Filigree Sylex is a riff on Ratchet Bomb with a slight upside on being able to blow itself up for 10 if the game drags that long.  I don’t think this is going to happen that often, though. 

Melira, the Living Cure – ignoring her poison ability, she’s essentially Saffi Eriksdotter with a few knobs turned via being a 3/3 and being able to hit artifacts.  Not bad when curving out, since it protects something without requiring mana, in case you get wrathed – which is nice for matchups where GW historically has problems.

Otharri, Sun’s Glory – is more a Rabblemaster type creature than a phoenix, at least against mass removal, since most decks aren’t going to be packing other rebels to sacrifice.  But it’s nice that this attacks for 5 on its first attack, and snowballs from there.  Otharri is nice against spot removal, at least sorcery-speed, though.  Still, I think I like the high-tier hasty dragons over this, even in just red.

Kethek, Crucible Golath – Somewhat of a birthing pod, which only trades down on sacrifices, but at least comes with a 4/4 body for 4, which is fine. Like the original birthing pod, it’s best in decks with a lot of Mulldrifters, since most of the value is from the effect outside of the creature’s body. Not bad as a bone to throw for decks like Jund.

Ovika, Enigma Goliath – One thing that caught my eye is that at least the tokens don’t die EOT, but it still seems like a really high mana cost of initial investment to get started since Ovika itself doesn’t have haste (but its tokens do) but it at least has a pretty hefty ward cost to kill.

Argentum Masticore – it suffers from the same drawbacks as the old masticore issues by forcing discards to keep this alive, but this at least has the potential to do something when it discards via possibly killing things via its trigger, allowing it to turn them into free kill spells if the stars align correctly.  Its protection is pretty meh, so it’s best mainly as a way to discard things and as a possible sideboard tool as a way to repeatedly kill things, so long as it doesn’t die itself.

Nahiri, the Unforgiving and Tyvar, Jubilant Brawler look to be more constructed build-arounds than cards in cube, where it’s harder to make these consistently work.  Nahiri is mostly reliant on recycling small permanents that have ETB triggers and/or going Hellbent, and is mostly an offense-related planeswalker, as her + ability protects her, somewhat, by forcing an opposing creature to attack the player, rather than her.  That said, she may have potential as a 3-mana draw engine for low-to-the-ground aggro, but those decks likely want something more proactive at 3 mana.  Tyvar suffers similarly, with limited creatures to give “haste” to, and is a reactive card at its heart.  

Jor Kadeen, First Goldwarden appears to be one of these constructed cards as well, but it isn’t as all-in on being an “equipment matters” card that it may appear, since only one equipped creature means that Jor Kadeen attacks as a 3/3 trampler and, if the equipment buffs him by 2+ power, he draws a card on attack for free.  That said, I don’t think a lot of cube decks are going to be able to consistently pump this via equipment on its first attack. 

Ria Ivor, Bane of Bladehold – This honestly seems worse than the OG Hero of Bladehold which nowadays is… Fine?  I’m just unsure why this needed to be downgraded in power and spread to 2 colors.  Why?

Lukka, Bound to Ruin – The points made about Compleated planeswalkers applies moreso here, since this compares to cards like Garruk Wildspeaker, Xenagos the Reveler and Garruk Relentless without even being better than them at 4 mana.  This can accelerate into 7-drops like Garruk and Xenagos and can act like a weird board wipe at 5, but it’s bound to be in cube sideboards, for the most part.

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